What The Hell Is Happening To Me?

a.k.a. “Carolyn tries CrossFit”

Between being a giant ball of stress and being a giant ball of fat, I’ve had enough. While I have been running and sticking to my distance/heart rate training goals, I’m gaining weight.

It didn’t help that last week Moose ran the show for food since my husband was out of town all week for work.

06 totinos pizza rolls

Oh, yes I did eat Pizza Rolls for dinner one night. I REGRET NOTHING.

I did the math and there was a good two and a half day stretch where I did not eat a fruit or vegetable of any kind. Well, not unless you count the tomato sauce in those pizza rolls as a vegetable or that wine used to be grape juice and that came from a fruit.

Throw in the lovely bloat that comes ever 28 days, and you could put me next to Shamu and you’d have a hard time telling us apart. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about. The fat jeans don’t button anymore! Argh!

Drastic times call for drastic measures. I tried CrossFit.


I know! That’s what I said too!

But I needed that kick in the pants to get me on the road to fitness again. The best shape I had been in my adult life was four years ago when I trained for a half marathon and did a bootcamp style class twice a week. Now while I’m not going to make the mistake of training for a half again, I do want to get back to running that 7-8 mile distance per run – that’s a distance that I really enjoy. Now that I live in a place where I don’t have to stop running outside between now and April, I’ll be able to keep up with the running progress I have made and improve on that distance-wise.

The other issue was the cross training aspect. Do I have access to a gym in my apartment building? Yep. Can I motivate myself to do the damn cross training and stick to it. Obviously not as I’ve used the gym a grand total of once the two and a half months we’ve been here.

I had the opportunity, but not the timing, to take an introduction to CrossFit class at the Automattic Grand meetup. I was bummed I couldn’t go, but going to the Olympic park was way more important. I found a couple of CrossFit gyms near my house and found one run by a woman who’s been doing CrossFit for over a decade. They had a free class on Saturday and I decided to try it out.

I was a skeptic for sure, but it ended up being more fun than I expected. I think that was due mainly to the fact that this one is run by some really laid back people. If it was one those crazy intense places that yelled, I would’ve been out.


The class was Saturday morning. It’s Monday afternoon and my abs still hate my face. Because the workout we did was:

100m Run
50 walking lunges
200m run
50 situps (OW OMG OWWWWW)
400m run
50 squat thingies with a medicine ball. I’m sure they have a name for them.

Tonight is the next class, so we’ll see how painful that will be. Because I don’t know if I mentioned that my abs hurt…but by the way, THEY HURT LIKE A MOTHER. I sneezed earlier and I cried.

I didn’t gain this weight in a day, so I’m not going to lose it in day either. We’ll see what happens tonight!


I finally figured out the name of my inner Drunk Frat Boy: Moose.

Every frat has that guy who’s a little too loud and a little too crazy. That’s my inner DFB and his name is Moose.

Hello, Moose!
Hello, Moose!

Yes, that’s John Belushi as Bluto in Animal House*. Bluto is the perfect personification of Moose.


Today’s New Year’s Eve – and you would think, “wow, Moose is going to wreck your shit tonight!”

You’d be wrong! Thanks to the Polar Dash tomorrow morning, I’m not going out for NYE nor am I drinking anything tonight. In fact, I will probably be in bed by 10pm surfing Pinterest on my iPad. I’m just that crazy!

As I’ve gotten older, my preference is to stay home on NYE. Too many people out getting drunk and most likely driving their asses around while drunk. No thank you. This race just gave me a fantastic reason to not go to any of the three parties I was invited to. Brilliant!

New Year’s also brings about the annual “New Year’s Resolutions” lists that people make. Those kind of lists give me hives. While I agree having a goal is good, most resolutions are unattainable because they’re not specific enough:

  • Lose weight!
  • Read more!
  • Exercise more!

Being that vague is not a recipe for success. Well, I’m going to make my short list of specific things I want to rock in 2014.

  • Lose 20lbs by May 1.
  • Go alcohol-free from Jan 1 until my birthday (~3 weeks).
  • Run a half marathon in June.

Each of these things is measurable and can be done within that period of time. I got my new issue of Cooking Light yesterday and they an article about the “Social Diet” members of staff took throughout 2013. They used a variety of tools and technology to help make those goals happen, which I’ll go over what I use in a upcoming post.

The editor mentioned that losing the weight was something that you could “solve for X” rather than rely on willpower to make it happen. Was a fresh perspective on the whole diet and exercise issue and it inspired me to do my own equation solving!

The biggest hurdle will be getting through the first week of the goals. I’ve heard that it takes three weeks to make a new habit stick, and that held true when I started running after I turned 30.

The losing weight thing, that will be me not eating so much and making sure I have healthy choices in the house. The alcohol thing, I’ll just need to make sure there’s no wine or beer in the house. If it’s not here, then I can’t drink it. It’s the same strategy I use for Oreo cookies** and it’s worked well over all these years. The half marathon is very doable – I’ve trained for one before and I already have the mindset of running. The other two goals will just make the third easier to achieve.

Do you have your own specific, measurable goals for 2014? Please share in the comments!

Happy New Year!
_ _ _ _ _

* – Animal House is in my top 5 list of favorite movies. Funny enough, Belushi is in two of the top 5 movies (The Blues Brothers is #1 on the list)

** – Moose loves Oreos. Alot.